Welcome to addition copy of The Grind, area we declared we’re done with sports afterwards watching the New England Patriots cheep through yet addition playoff game. Why did the Chiefs’ Dee Ford band up offsides?! The bold was over! WHY?! I absolutely can’t booty it anymore and I ability aloof unplug my TV on Super Bowl Sunday. But there was a additional allotment to my announcement. I’m done with sports EXCEPT Tiger Woods. And fortunately, aloof in time, he’s aback again. How’s that for acceptable timing?
There, that’s better. Tiger’s acknowledgment to Torrey is at the top of all golf fans’ minds this week, but there’s affluence abroad in golf to allocution about. So let’s get started, because I charge any aberration I can concoct these abutting two weeks.
Adam Long: Adam Long is a. . . (Looks up Adam Long on Wikipedia). . .
Um. . . That’s right, the dude who exhausted Phil Mickelson head-to-head to win the Desert Classic didn’t alike accept a Wikipedia folio as of Sunday night (His ancestors will be appreciative that has back changed), authoritative him, yes, one of the longest LONG shots to win on the PGA Tour. Oh, by the way, Long is originally from New Orleans and he went to Duke. Here’s what he looks like:
Amazingly, Long had alone fabricated one cut in bristles antecedent PGA Tour starts (A T-63 at the Safeway Open in October) and his abandoned above-mentioned win back axis pro in 2010 came on the Hooters Tour. What a air-conditioned story. So congrats, Adam. And hopefully, your encores are bigger than Derek Ernst’s.
Phil Mickelson: I jokingly accredit to myself as “Mr. 60” about the appointment due to my abilities with a 60-degree block that are disproportionately acceptable to the blow of my golf game. However, I’m abashed I accept to accept the appellation to Mickelson, appealing accessible with the 60-degree himself, who now has a PGA Tour almanac three circuit of 60 to his name. Incredible.
Of course, it’s additionally affectionate of absurd that none of those angry into 59s. And that he couldn’t absolutely exhausted Adam Long to win the Desert Classic, but it was addition admonition that at 48, he’s not activity away. Particularly on courses with light-to-no rough.
The Smoke Wagons: The fantasy golf aggregation captained by castigation absolutely and adolescent Golf Digest book Joel Beall is clearly set. And it’s loaded. We hope.
We aloof charge Brooks Koepka to win at atomic one major, Beau Hossler and Luke List to win at atomic one tournament, and Adam Scott to booty bigger advantage of that attractive golf swing. Hey, if a guy afterwards a Wikipedia folio can win a PGA Tour event, annihilation is possible.
John Smoltz: While Tony Romo was alive working, this adolescent celebrity golf brilliant was alive alive on his links resume. Smoltz won the Diamond Resorts Clash of Champions, which angled as the LPGA division opener (Congrats, also, to Eun Hee Ji), assault the brand of Mark Mulder and Mardy Fish. Keep in apperception the 51-year-old able for his aboriginal U.S. Senior Open aftermost year. Dude is legit.
John Smoltz’s putter?: His Bloodline doodle is additionally legit. At least, by the rules. But should it be?
The USGA’s new rules forbid caddies from lining players up on the greens, but should you be able to use a doodle that allows you to let go while you band up? As abundant as I adulation seeing Smoltz comedy well, this seems like a artifice that should be closed.
Julio Bell: This is one of the best audacious and camp things we’ve anytime encountered. Bell, a Colombian agent and above boxer who abundantly attempt 93-105 afterwards affairs his way into a Web.com Tour accident aftermost year, allegedly bought his way into the Diamond Resorts event. And on top of that, “La Maquina” bought a. . . commercial? For himself? Huh?
And back he was listed as an abecedarian (You know, an abecedarian golfer who pays for commercials of himself), he wasn’t listed on the baton lath so we don’t apperceive what he shot. What a clown.
Playing with fire: The LPGA’s Jaye Marie Blooming didn’t authorize for the season-opening accident so instead of accepting the befalling to comedy with Julio Bell, she played with fire.
Call me crazy, but I’d rather comedy with Julio Bell.
The PGA Tour alive to Torrey Pines for the Farmers Insurance Open, AKA that accident Tiger consistently starts his year at, and area I accept Mr. Farmers, Rickie Fowler, is contractually answerable to comedy in until he’s 86.
Random clash fact: I’ve got some eyes on the arena at Torrey this anniversary acknowledgment to my mom and sister. Here’s a attending at all the photos my mom beatific me:
Glad to see she brand to axis chase Rory also.
RANDOM PROP BETS OF THE WEEK
— A golfer afterwards a Wikipedia folio will win at Torrey Pines: 1 MILLION-to-1 odds
— Tiger Woods will win at Torrey Pines: 12-to-1 allowance (Actual odds)
— Tiger Woods would accept begin a way to exhausted Adam Long: LOCK
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The European Tour has delivered so abundant abundant video agreeable the accomplished few years you could absolve them if they couldn’t appear up with annual to alpha 2019. Instead, it focused on players aggravating to appear up with (bad) ideas, and amazingly, it resulted in arguably the Euro Tour’s best video to date. Behold “The Agreeable Committee”:
Henrik Stenson and Eddie Pepperell adapted Oscar nominations for their work.
THIS WEEK IN CELEBRITY GOLFERS (NOT NAMED JOHN SMOLTZ)
As aboriginal appear by Golf Channel’s Tim Rosaforte, Larry Fitzgerald fabricated a hole-in-one at Seminole Golf Club. While arena with Barack Obama.
Looks like Larry—especially with that 10.7 handicap—is rounding into anatomy aloof in time to avert his appellation at Pebble Beach abutting month!
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
THIS WEEK IN “PROS ARE JUST LIKE US!”
The Instagram annual we alien aftermost week, “Tiger Woods Accomplishing Things,” is accomplishing too abounding acceptable things not to acknowledgment again. Analysis out this:
And my new claimed favorite:
Keep these gems coming.
THIS WEEK IN DUSTIN JOHNSON-PAULINA GRETZKY AND BROOKS KOEPKA-JENA SIMS PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION
Looks like the assemblage is accepting a abundant time in the Maldives. Here’s DJ and Paulina:
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OK, so those are aloof photos they took of anniversary other. And here’s some absolute PDA from Brooks and Jena:
Maybe a bit too abundant too abundant PDA, accent on the A, if you apperceive what I mean. . .
THIS WEEK IN OTHER TOUR PRO PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION
NEW GOLF POWER COUPLE ALERT! Danielle Kang and Maverick McNealy are clearly an item. Or whatever the kids are calling it these days. They still aren’t Instagram official, though, so you accept to achieve for this split-screen photo:
“He’s a dork,” Kang told Golf Channel. “But he’s my dork.”
Aww. Still, I’m aloof aghast Danielle didn’t acquaint me about this sooner. We played one annular calm and she attempt 63. I anticipation we were tight, DK.
THIS AND THAT
Alvaro Ortiz won the Latin American Abecedarian Championship to acquire Mexico’s aboriginal Masters allure in four decades. Acceptable for him, abnormally back he’d accomplished runner-up the antecedent two years. . . . That actuality said, Ortiz would be astute not to leave his arena ally in the dust at Augusta National like he did during the third annular back he was aggravating to abstain a slow-play penalty. Me thinks the blooming jackets wouldn’t acknowledge that. . . . Tiger Woods won the GWAA’s Ben Hogan Award for advantageous “a concrete affliction or austere abrasion to abide alive in golf.” I’d say aggressive about 1,200 spots in the apple baronial is actual appealing abuse ACTIVE. . . . And finally, aloof to prove Tiger agitation has arrived, analysis out this dude who couldn’t put Big Cat’s bio down, alike amidst a absolutely jammed-up alms car:
And no, admitting the Wake Forest ring, that’s NOT me. I swear.
RANDOM QUESTIONS TO PONDER
How abounding bikinis does Jena Sims own?
How abounding bikinis does Brooks Koepka own?
Why do I abide to bet adjoin the Patriots?
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